Loving Out Loud

How the Courage to Own and Share Our Interests Strengthens Our Relationships with Creativity and Each Other

I’ve been reading The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year by Margaret Renkl. I recently listened to Kate Bowler’s interview with Renkyl on her podcast. It was fun to learn more about an author’s process as I work on my own writing. This quote from their conversation really stayed with me.

One thing I really hoped about The Comfort of Crows is that, if I love something in front of somebody. Maybe they’d be more apt to love it, too. 

-Margaret Renkl 

“The Art of Noticing” Everything Happens Podcast (Season 11, Episode 9)

Renkl’s book is filled with devotion to the wonder and beauty in the environment and habitats close to her home. At the same time, she acknowledges loss and death, and the opportunities for grief and mourning that come with a close relationship to plants and animals. 

In the interview, she speaks about loving creatures we don’t typically love such as wasps and mosquitos. It’s a stretch for me to imagine loving these insects. At the same time, I find myself more open to learning about their roles in the natural world. How do mosquitos feed the birds? What is the wasp’s role in pollinating flowering plants?

A few observations inspired by Margaret Renkl's book.

I am curious about ways the courage to share what we love impacts our relationship with creativity and the lives we create.

As I work on my book about creativity, I am always on the lookout for inspiration in the form of what others around me love. I collect stories from friends’ stories, podcast conversations, books, and experiences in my own creative practice. My creativity is curious; it seeks new things to explore and loves looking for connections. I am fascinated to hear the stories of relationships others have with their interests and passions too. 

I do not always love what others love, but I am always interested, and I think this is one way in which we court creativity - allowing room to be curious and to learn about the interests and practices of friends in the same way we might learn about their spouses, children, parents, or teammates.

Sharing what we love is a great way to invite others into relationship with something we are passionate about. 

I’m also reminded how much courage is required in this sharing, naming what we love can feel vulnerable, we often fear others won’t understand. 

“And sometimes I’ll ask what people have recently—say in the last day or two—come to realize they love, a question that at first seems to be difficult for some of them, as they say, “I like” this, or “I like” that, to which I try to lean on them by saying, “No, no, I said, what do you love?” Because sharing what we love is dangerous, it is vulnerable, it is like baring your neck, or your belly, and it reveals that, in some ways, we are all commonly tender.”   Ross Gay Inciting Joy

When have you been intrigued by something someone else loves? Maybe it was a recipe you never tried before, or a musician you’d never heard? Maybe it was a strategy for problem-solving that you never considered, or, like my experience with Margaret Renkl, a noticing in the natural world that you learn to see through someone else’s eyes? How did that sharing of love impact you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Reflecting on Renkl’s comment also made me think about what happens in the presence of the opposite of this sharing. When we withhold what we love or downplay it in front of others; that has an impact too. I’ll share more of my reflections of that process in a couple weeks. 

For now, I invite you to consider what you love and to share that with people you are close to. Invite them to share what they love too.  

Thank you to this newsletter community for providing a space I get to share things I love and thank you for all the responses and stories you offer. You can reply directly to this email or use the comment feature. 

With a grateful heart, 

Kathryn