Chrysalis

Reflections inspired by summer travel and hosting visitors

Sign in Toronto.

We took a family vacation to Ontario earlier this month. Walking in Toronto, this sign on a university building repeatedly caught my attention. It was a moment of recognition.

Yes, chrysalis, is a perfect name for a creative school.

Without even knowing what went on inside, I was inspired and intrigued by this sign.

Part of planning our family vacation for early August is that it is good timing for college schedules, late enough that jobs are done, yet early enough it doesn’t run right up against my kids’ return to school.

AND, it allows me to be back in time for the arrival of the monarch caterpillars. For the last 3 years I have kept notes as I host caterpillars on our back porch. Each year, I have found the first one on the 12th or 13th of August. It was the 12th this year, right on schedule.

Very little else about the garden has felt “on schedule” or typical this year. My favorite flowers usually bloom in July and attract bees and butterflies to the garden. They have not bloomed yet this year and I worried the butterflies might not visit. It was a welcome surprise to find the caterpillars and eggs on the milkweed plants.

Early Friday morning the first caterpillar emerged as a chrysalis.

First chrysalis of the year, emerged Friday morning; a second caterpillare seen behind has moved to the ceiling to begin its own transformation process.

I say “emerged” because the caterpillar forms the chrysalis from the inside out. I observed this process for a few years before I fully realized what I was seeing.

Stages of change from monarch caterpillar to chrysalis. 1. Caterpillar hanging upside down and weaving a connection to the butterfly house ceiling. 2. The caterpillar skin begins to split, revealing a new green chrysalis underneath. 3. The chrysalis expands, continuing to split the skin. 4. The chrysalis twists and turns in its new form, the shriveled old skin is seen at the top. 5. The old skin falls off and the chrysalis becomes still. 6. The chrysalis settles into its final form, ridges smooth out and the band of gold moves toward the top.

As pictured above, the caterpillar climbs to the ceiling of the butterfly house, attaches itself to the ceiling, and hangs there upside down for a few days. At just the right time, it splits open, shedding its caterpillar skin and revealing a bright green bumpy chrysalis underneath. The newly emerged chrysalis drops the shed skin and twists and turns like someone caught in a sleeping bag. Slowly the shape smooths to its chrysalis form, and it becomes still. The monarch will remain in this state for a week or two before a final emergence as a butterfly.

Shedding of skin isn’t new to the caterpillar. As it increases in size, the caterpillar sheds its skin multiple times to accomodate new growth.I wonder, is this a way of practicing for shedding the final caterpillar skin to become a chrysalis? Does it know a different kind of change is coming or does it just have the familiar feeling of having outgrown a skin?

A caterpillar that has just shed its skin, leaving behind the shell of its smaller self.

And what about the time in the chrysalis? From my research, I understand that inside the monarch becomes a green goo, completely transforming into a new state. There are not gradual steps to witness in this transformation as there might be with a tadpole slowly growing legs and shortening its tail during its metamorphosis into a frog. Instead, the butterfly and other insects with a pupa stage have a transformation completely shrouded in mystery.

Back to the sign outside the creative school and the feeling of recognition of their use of the word, chrysalis. The more I learn about the monarch’s transformation, the more I see parallels and metaphors for the creative process.

Creative process happens as a series of emergences from the inside to the outside. The beginning of an idea is like the tiny caterpillar hatching from the egg, over time this idea grows steadily, shedding outer layers and revealing new growth underneath in a steady rhythm.

1. A new caterpillar egg on a leaf of milkweed. 2. The egg becomes translucent just before it hatches. 3. A tiny monarch caterpillar just after it emerges. 4. Tiny caterpillar crawls away from the egg and begins to explore.

I wonder how often in creative practice, and in the creativity that is our lives, we become used to a certain progression of growth, aware of how new versions of ourselves mature and emerge from the inside out. This is like the caterpillar, in routine, growing and shedding skin.

Caterpillars growing steadily, shedding skin along the way.

How do we recognize moments when that shedding will lead not to a larger self but to a mysterious stage of total transformation? What would it look like to have a metaphorical chrysalis moment, to be hidden and protected while undergoing profound change.? Like the wiggling chrysalis, are we resistant at first before settling into the the outer stillness that allows for inner transformation?

Do you see any parallels between the monarch’s experience of growth and transformation and your own creative process?

For me, the past few years have involved a lot of transition and transformation, personally and in family relationships and roles. As Chad and I adjust to a household of two, our children are beginning adulthood, and we are all learning new forms for relationships through this time. The chrysalis reminds me that some of this change can be seen and anticipated. Other parts involve waiting, trust in the process, and appreciation for the mystery of new forms emerging.

It seems there is always an aspect of creative life that is hidden, vulnerable, and needs to remain shrouded in mystery like the monarch in a chrysalis before emerging in a new and wondrous form. How fitting for that school in Toronto, a space for learning and growth, to make this connection through its name.

I would also love to hear if other observations of living beings in the natural world are informing your creative process.

Thank you for reading and being a part of creative community through this newsletter.

With a grateful heart,

Kathryn

Family photo in Toronto the beginning of August.

I invite you to share my work to expand the conversation.

Caterpillar munching milkweed.